Spare the rod and spoil the child
Yesterday, I made a Japanese-style curry together with my son.
It was very scary for me to see him cutting potatoes with a knife. I saw him almost cut his fingers two times. But I let him continued while shouting "Abunai (Be careful)!" many times.
If I stopped giving him an opportunity to use a knife because of his possible injury, he would never ever get a chance to be good at cooking.
Well, there might be an idea a child doesn't need to cook. But I want him to experience various things just like I have done so far.
I recalled my father was very patient and strong to teach me everything. Not only my father but also teachers in old days were actually very strict. Yes, there was an age.....it was natural for teachers and parents to use a rod or a whip or a hand for disciplines. The famous saying, "Spare the rod and spoil the child" was very true.
But now it's so different. Everybody needs to spare the rod! This is must. In case I use a rod to children even for the sake of improving them, I'll be punished. So although I personally believe this saying "Spare the rod and spoil the child" sound true, but we need to be careful to use this expression for modern age.
Then what kind of saying would be good for growing children?
In Japan, there has been a wonderful saying which sounds similar to the "Spare the rod and spoil the child." It is "Kawaii ko ni wa, tabi wo sase yo" which literally means "If you love your child, let him or her to travel out." Because travelling in this modern age is fun and comfortable, we tend to understand this saying teaches us in order to have various experiences, we should travel. However, this is misunderstanding of the original meaning.
In old days, travelling was very dangerous. People could die easily on the way of travelling. So to give a chance of travel to the children is just like giving a serious hardship and suffering to children. In a sense, this Japanese saying meant much more strict than English saying of "Spare the rod."
Honestly speaking, I spent little time to my children and I was like a single man in the past.
But now I think I can call myself as a father. Growing children can be growing myself. I want to be patient and strong with love and compassion.